girls playing catch; going to feed the horses (the horses love this time of day when we come down because they know we have lots of good food; bouncing around
I wish I had time to paint things like this now--it's probably a combination of having time and the desire to do it--I have to be in the mood because it takes a long time to do the detail work, and there never seems to be much time for that anymore--but I'll have to make the time. Anyway, this sort of looks like our house--see our minivan--I painted this when we had five kids I think. But this is very peaceful and we live by the sea in this one.....I enjoyed doing this; cutouts from construction paper--I asked the kids what they wanted and they requested chickens and horses with a barn, etc...the kids like playing with stuff like this more than expensive toys. They carried their cutouts in their little bag of stuff for days. Jonah loved the car. He admired it lovingly when I gave it to him and said, "Ohhhh......car!" grinning from ear to ear, holding onto it like it was the best thing ever. He likes to bring me books now and sit on my lap and show me the pictures of things. It's fun watching him learn.
mural on the girl's wall I painted when Laura was little--she's sitting in a field of flowers on a nice spring day with rabbits and horse and her cozy little house on a hill (I've been meaning to add all the sisters in the picture since it's in the girl's room but I still haven't had a chance); Laura's painting with a winged horse and butterflies. It was fun doing this one too.
from pretty things to messy things (I'm sure other mothers of toddlers can identify with this--maybe??--lol:)
Jonah grabbed a box of cereal from Audrey and this is the result of their tug-of-war (thank goodness for vacuum cleaners); shortly after that he found the tissue box in another room which he likes to pull out one-by-one and stuff 'em back in so we have a crumpled mass of tissues to pull apart:)
our Christmas cactus that blooms every November (it's a month off but that's close enough:) some pretty glass bowls, music boxes, and a cute kitty cat I have on our dresser; I brought these flowers in from the cold--a marigold and begonia that I didn't want to see die--they're not so pretty inside as they were outside in the warm summer sun, but they're still a little pretty:)
Kenny and I were outside last weekend because it was such nice weather. And Jonah decided to go shopping--he loves things he can push. So he was pushing his pumpkins down the sidewalk....
when he took a gentle tumble... and while he was down there.....found something interesting to look at...
For every child, I like to paint something for them. I did them over the last 8 yrs. since we've been in this house and I've painted a picture for every one except Jonah so I'll try to do that this winter. I'm still working on my mural in the toy room that I started nearly 5 yrs. ago, so I have a goal to finish that one too before spring. I thought I'd finish a couple of years ago but somehow there hasn't been time for that. so I'll try again this year. Anyway, here's some pictures I painted of their favorite things that are hanging in their rooms. 
for Audrey who loves ponies and kitties; Livy who likes chasing butterflies
I have some more for the other kids, but I'll have to do that later.
the last couple of weekends have been in the 70's so it's been nice and we've enjoyed being outside.
The kids made a fishing pole out of a stick and look what Audrey caught in the bucket--a fish! (it looks real doesn't it for a wooden fish?). Jonah was putting gravels in the water. Fun!
Jonah hanging out playing ball with Brandon in the background and then makes a run for it towards me (planting flowers behind the camera:)...with Brandon and Laura in close pursuit.
Kenny worked on our newest project today but I forgot to take pictures. I'll have to remember next time so I can show you what we're doing.
Audrey found my boots and enjoyed clomping around the house in them; beautiful flowers in remembrance of Kenny's dad on the hill beside our house
the girls and their little brother like trying on hats--this is an antique hat that I got from my grandpa's a long time ago. We have it hanging in our garden shed and the kids like playing with it. It's actually very good to wear working in the sun--you will not get any sun on your face with this hat on:) and the girls like putting flowers in their hair--Laura from last spring found a pretty pear tree blossom and Emily, above, at our Autumn party--silk but still pretty:) 
We got our gas fireplace put in finally. Now our front room is nice and toasty. I love it! It's been a while since we had a fireplace and we're really enjoying it. When we built this big kitchen/school room/living room/reading area/and office space as one huge room, we didn't think about it not holding heat well in the winter. So the rooms in the back of the house and upstairs are very warm and the front room is always colder. So now we can turn the electric heat back and use the gas up front. This should save some money when it gets really cold because our electric bill skyrockets in January and February. I actually propped my feet up in a chair by the fireplace and looked at some old craft magazines I have. These are from 2002 so that tells you how long it's been since I've looked at them. But it was so nice and cozy. I'll definitely being doing this more often this winter. And I've got a view of the birdfeeder/house right outside the window and even the horses if they decide to come to the fence. Now that is what life's all about.
this was taken last March on our one and only snow, but this is our Birdhouse Inn and Restaurant and this is what I am looking at when I sit at the fireplace, except it's fall now
We went down to feed the horses in the rain. Bunny's scared of umbrellas so she wouldn't come very close. She did finally smell the apple I had for her and decided it was worth it to come get it after all. We forgot the flashlight so we were basically feeding in the dark, in the rain, and Ben got soaked when he set his umbrella down because of Bunny being scared of it. the things we do for these horses. I wonder if they appreciate it--well, probably only as much as a horse can:) But we enjoy doing it for them and it's nice to feel wanted.
We're really wanted by lots of animals then because we're feeding quite a few--even some neighbor cats stop by to see what we have to offer at our Cat Cafe (we feed our 3 cats in the outbuilding because when Jonah started crawling last year, he would not leave the cat food alone, i.e eating it, and the cats have to fight Peaches (our dog) off to eat in peace--so it became necessary to move the food to another location; but now we have at least 3 other cats (and possibly possums and other wild critters) who not only eat at their home, but ours too. So we traded one problem for another, but that is life and it's ok:)
I forgot about this, but it was a whole lot of fun for the kids--we had a scavenger hunt in the house last weekend for our annual autumn party. I made up clues and put them in various locations in the house so the kids could find them and ultimately they found the prize at the end of the hunt. It was fun watching them search for clues! I waited until the last minute to make up the clues but I really wanted to get it done for them. They were so excited and we laughed a lot.
We also had a walk on the path in the dark which we lit with candles. It was a warm night so it was a good time to do it. I got a gigantic splinter in my finger from a match trying to light the candles, and the wind kept blowing some of the flames out and we had to keep relighting them, but it was all worth it. We had a lot of fun that night.
Scary Harry--he follows us wherever we go so of course he wanted to join in on our walk; Livy was looking back like she was a little unsure of going on the path--but she loved it when we got going; we lit a bunch of candles so we could see where we were going
the girl's are ready to go--there they go down the path--Jonah always gets the best seat on Dad's shoulders. (You can pull the pictures up and see Harry better in this picture with his eyes all glowing in the dark--he wakes me up with his stare in the middle of the night wanting to go outside--he never wakes anyone else up; just me for some reason....) Anyhow, this was fun!
I'm a little late in posting these, but better late than never. We had a fun time and Laura did a really nice job.
I spent the day yesterday gathering seeds from all the flowers in the yards. We have 13 bags of zinnia seeds, marigolds, cosmos, a variety of different daisies--shastas, black-eyed susans, coneflowers, and morning glories. Next year will be fun planting all of these.
Beautiful cosmos which are still just as pretty on this November day; the frost of last week killed my zinnias though--I'm going to miss them until next year.
*these cosmos and marigolds bloomed from summer until now and are still going strong--so these are some good ones to grow if you want to enjoy them for quite awhile. Next year in our garden, Kenny and I have decided we'll only grow flowers there so I'm looking forward to a whole garden full of beautiful flowers.
*some of of our seashells we collected from the beach. In a few years our whole rock will be filled with them. The kids like going through them and seeing what they can find. Just last week, Laura found a shark tooth in the ones we brought back. I love seashells!
Ben loves to play in the woods and explore--can you see him in the briars and branches?
Gigi (gee-gee) likes to get in the warm van when the window's open--it is actually cozy in here on warm days--she's the best cat--somebody dropped her off her a year or so ago and at first I didn't want another one because we had 3 at the time, but I'm glad we kept her; And there's, Rain, the humble pony. What a good little pony she is for the kids--they love her.
After a hard week, I thought I'd post some fun pictures. (I also want to say it's been a good week too sharing stories with people who knew Larry and we were able to see people who we haven't seen in awhile which was so nice:) Anyway, it was a beautiful service with beautiful flowers, music, and memories of him and it was nice to honor him in that way.
Emily, Audrey and Livy were asking me questions tonight about heaven and what it would be like which was understandable because of their grandaddy...."will it be dark up there like it is here at night?--I told them I didn't know for sure on that one but I thought it wouldn't be.....what does your soul look like?.....I guessed that it might look like who we are but it is all that is good about us....can we take our dolls and our blankets?...I said they wouldn't need those because that would be a long time from now and they would play with them here with us and cuddle with their blankets here....will there be houses there?....I told them the Bible says there are many mansions there, so yes they would have a nice place to live....they wanted to know if Grandaddy was asleep....I told them he was now in the presence of Jesus.....and observations like....maybe grandaddy's holding our rabbits or playing with Maude (our horse)....I told them maybe animals are up there and if that made them happy to think that, I'm sure God would allow animals up there since he created them for us here, he could certainly have them there too..or maybe he's holding our babies....I told them I believed maybe he was--and then their wishes...I asked God to let Grandaddy stay down here but he said no....and they asked me how old I was and if I still had a long time to go to heaven because they hoped I'd be here forever with them..."....I told them I still had a long time with them here because I was their mom and they needed me right now--we would be a family here for a long time, but after that we would see each other again for eternity."
I have a child's book that answers some questions about heaven that I need to find so I can read it to them to give them more accurate answers. I tried to tell them things so they won't be scared or worried but know that the most important thing is to accept Jesus as their savior so they will have the hope of being in heaven one day. I also told them I thought it would be the most beautiful place we could ever imagine with beautiful singing and happy fellowship....we'd all be happy and never hurt or sad again.
After our conversation, Brandon went in and found the book in his bookshelf--it's called Someday Heaven by Larry Libby and it's got a lot of good answers to their questions. I want to try to read it to them tomorrow. Kids have lots of questions when things happen so it's good to be able to answer some of them, even if we don't know all the answers. They're very inquisitive and so sweet and innocent in their thinking.
One of the greatest gifts I have ever received is my husband. And the man who gave him the loving, kind character I respect so much is his dad, Larry. I am so thankful for the kind son that his mom and dad raised. I was talking to Kenny last night about how his dad was someone who you could count on, someone who would lighten the mood and make peace in tough situations, he was the rock of the family. Kenny relied on him greatly for his advice in business matters, and taught he and his brothers honest work ethics and how to do the best job they could do. Without him, there would've never been Larry C. & Sons, Inc.
God created special people who walk this life and touch many people just by their kindness and humble attitude. Larry was one of those people. When you lose someone like this, there is a huge void left; but at the same time we see his legacy in those who come after him. I am fortunate to have that in Kenny and our sons, and Kenny's brothers and nephew. He taught all of them a lot about good character. But, nevertheless, life will never be the same without Larry. We love and miss you always. I cannot even imagine the happy reunion Larry is having today in Heaven with those who have gone on before him, and maybe he sees his grandbabies we lost--I don't know how that all works out--but I'd like to think he might be with them:) One thing about someone passing away when you know they're a Christian, is that it's not so scary to go the same path, because they are there waiting on you when our time comes. We have a lot of people who we'll see again one day. We love and miss you always, Larry.
Kenny's daddy; I think Kenny favors his daddy a whole lot in a lot of ways
Picture from March 2009 at Laura's birthday
Kenny's Dad and the kid's Grandaddy passed away this morning at the age of 76. He was a good, honorable, humble man and always had a smile on his face. He loved his farm and his cows and hunting. He took pleasure in the simple things of life. He will be missed.
We believe he's in the safe presence of the Lord today. It's still very sad that we won't be able to go see him anymore. This reminds us of how short life is and how each day is precious with those around us. You never know when it will be the last visit or the last word spoken. One amazing thing is we have hope for a reunion someday with people we love.
We got a call this morning that Kenny's dad wasn't breathing and they took him to the hospital. Kenny went on up there to see if he can find out anything. He said he would call me when he found out something.
I could not fall sleep to save my life last night. We stayed up late and after drifting off, Jonah woke up, which woke me up. I went in to get something to eat because I was very hungry for some reason and then I was fully awake. I couldn't go back to sleep for hours and hours. I hate it when that happens:) When I'm up like that, I tend to think a lot and and watching the clock doesn't help--I saw 5:05 a.m. glaring at me and a little panic crept in because I was calculating how much time it would be before it was time to get up. I don't know why I panic because eventually I'll get sleep, but still I stress out about it. I think I finally fell asleep at around 7-something a.m. and got a couple hours rest. thank goodness it's Saturday and Kenny's here.
Anyway, while awake I started thinking and thinking. That's why I hate to have insomnia because I think about things too much. I'm not really interested in reading a book at 4 a.m.-ish (now midnight is a different story--that's my quiet time--sort of); and getting on the internet is not a good idea and will wake me up even more. and there's nothing on t.v. at that time of night even though I tried flipping through some channels, but that annoying blue light was irritating. So all I have on restless nights like that is my thoughts and the semi-darkness while everyone else sleeps. I hate that. The good thing is I should be really tired tonight though and we get an extra hour which is nice.
Kenny and Brandon finished the fence section. They are some fast workers and it's a cute little fence. Now it's nice and safe to mow around and pretty too. What else? I had some leftover bananas that the kids wouldn't eat. And I hate to throw things out. So I'd thought I'd see if the horses would eat them. they like them. Good. Now I don't feel guilty for throwing smushed, half-eaten pieces of banana out.
I'll have pictures of Laura's wonderful Autumn Party when I get a chance. We had all kinds of fun. I'm too tired to talk about it now though. So maybe tomorrow. Until then....have a good night!
I took Brandon and Laura to their volunteer job. Brandon had to wear a long sleeve shirt even though it was warm enough to wear a short sleeve because he got into a bit of poison oak or ivy last weekend while cleaning some brush off our property. So I've been trying to help speed up the healing process for him, but it usually takes about 2 wks to disappear from past experience. Livy had a little bit on her too from climbing up a dirt hill. Whenever I see poison oak I always tell the kids to stay away from it and now they're learning why. It's very itchy and annoying.
Coming home, we saw the kid's grandaddy sitting on the back of his truck so I decided to stop by and visit. Their new little puppy had fun playing with the kids. We talked for a little while while Ben helped grandaddy shell some lima beans. Grandma showed me a picture of her when she a junior in high school. I love looking at photos from the past. It's a time that won't be back again, which makes me a little sad, but we can only move forward and hold on to the good memories. The past is over, the future isn't here yet, and the moment is all we have so we should cherish it:) So anyway, we had a nice visit and I'm so glad we stopped.
Kenny's going to try to start the fence at the top of our property this weekend. The time changes soon so we're gonna have to cram stuff in to a tighter schedule which I don't like. I definitely enjoy the longer days. This Saturday (halloween) we're gonna hang around here and let Laura do her autumn party where she bakes and cooks for everybody. The kids will play some games and watch Charlie Brown. So it should be fun!
Bunny, our sweet ole' Mustang, basking in the warm sun at evening; Kenny's birdhouse with the heart he made for me--very sweet and I love it-- and golden oak leaves 
the magnificent sun setting (somehow it looks like I took this photo from the sky because the building is tucked down in the left corner as if I were high above it; however, it was pretty much directly across from where I was standing--neat effect even if I'm not sure how it happened. Livy playing on the rocks--the kids love rocks and logs--very fun:)
We went on a walk in the horse field over the weekend and found some pretty things to take pictures of. I have to say even though I like the warmth of spring and summer--fall is an equally beautiful time of year because of the colors and the way the sun reflects differently. Fortunately we've had some very warm days over the last week so it's been extra nice.
checking out the horses--this is where some of our projects will be--the horse field is keeping us very busy and I love it!
We thought we got all our projects done, but that was just the summer ones--now we're moving on to another season and more things to do. It's all fun stuff we all can help with so we're looking forward to it. Another fence section, finishing the interior of one of the buildings, building the girls a dollhouse, making a bridge on the horse pond, and the last one I'll keep a surprise. It's going to be fun! And I've heard people wonder what we do over here that keeps us so busy:) There's always something we can come up with and it seems like one thing leads to another so it's never ending. Busy is good though! It's better than not having anything to do.
beautiful sunsets at the beach--You can see it better in the second picture. So pretty. It's worth going just for the sunsets alone. We had a nice sunset here at home too. Whether at the beach or at home, sunsets are nice to look at.
Emily flying a kite and the ocean wind is a great place to do that; however, this kite didn't last long against the winds; children enjoying the last days of vacation--Jonah was peacefully napping in his stroller.
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I took the kids to the horse therapy center. They haven't been for a month already because of our vacation and got rained out last week. On the way back, after dropping Brandon and Laura off, I decided to take a short cut. And I took the wrong road. We're in the country in a big county and there's lot of twisty roads and some that turn into gravel and they become even more twisty and narrow. Anyway, that's the kind of road I ended up on. I managed to turn around and I should've realized my mistake sooner when I looked around at houses and buildings and realized that they didn't look familiar, but I kept on going anyway--good thing there wasn't a snowstorm because I would be one of those people who keep on traveling and get stuck in a snowdrift. Now if I'm in the city I'm usually fine, but I still haven't learned all the secrets of the country even after nearly 17 yrs. of living here.
But no big deal--we got turned around and I figured out that I went straight and should have taken a turn. Oh well, I'll know next time. Kenny said if anything ever happens to him I'll need a chaffeur to drive me around because I'm terrible with directions--lol! Kenny was blessed with an internal GPS system and I wasn't:) He has to show me exactly the path of where to go and even though I'm liable to get lost if I didn't have the older kids with me, and that's what I did today. Leave it to me to venture out on an unknown road. Next time, I'll stick to the path:)
But Bran and Laura had a nice time and enjoyed helping out with the kids. They put them to work there--Laura brushed horses today and Brandon walked with the kids while they rode. It takes a lot of strength to hold the kids on for the amount of time they have to do it, like 30 minutes or something. Last time, Brandon dug holes for fence posts and got a huge blister on his hand from working so hard. They really enjoy it though and it's been a good experience. Brandon's friend-at-the-beach's mom told me she did a thesis on hippotherapy in college and I thought that was an interesting coincidence. And they adopted three of their children, two from China. I told her our story just to have someone to talk to and she was nice, which was nice:)
I worked on freeing up some computer space last night. I printed a bunch of pictures out and then deleted them--I think it was about 65 out of 4700 or something like that--so some had to go. I love taking pictures--just have a habit of taking too many. Anyway, I wanted at least one hard copy printed out, which I have now for us. Some of them were the pictures Kenny took in Liberia and some were just goofy pictures of nothing taken around here. Anyway, the Liberia photos were just airplane photos that Kenny took looking out the window when he was flying over different countries and some landscape photos of Liberia with no people in them. I still couldn't bear to delete all the Liberia pictures and I'm not sure if we ever will. I keep saying we need to do that but when it comes down to it, I don't. Kenny sat with me and made the point that that's all we had left. Interesting that not one person has looked at his photos of Liberia except us mostly. Strangely it's almost as if this experience never happened to people around us--it has been erased from their memories. I've often wondered if a visitor came to a church who had been to Africa how they would react--at the very least they would act interested, but we don't even get that. Why I care I don't know...but it's a strange occurence in a way; then again it's really not--sort of weird.
Our situation is not unique though because I've read from other people who've adopted from Africa specifically and are now having to place the children, and no one wants to talk about it with them either (and I know of those who are wanting to adopt and not getting such a warm reception as well). So it's not just us. And I know how lonely that can feel. I've reached out to others who are going through what we went through (different circumstances but similar too) just to give/get some support. It was nice for me to have the support in that way. I really didn't expect anyone to and it was so nice when I found out not everyone was going to be mean about it. I knew some people were upset about us adopting in the first place, but didn't know the full extent until afterwards and the harsh words of how they truly felt. Adopting children who needed a home and at least trying is not the worst thing a person can do...but you'd think:)
And then there was the AA lady before the kids came home who was more worried about how I was gonna handle fixing the kid's hair and taking care of a boy's skin when he started shaving as if that was the most important thing to think about at the time. If there was concern about that I wonder why she didn't offer to come over and help me instead of making fun of me. I'd never even met her--it was someone my brother worked with... anyhow, the kids were in a bad situation and needed to get out of it as soon as possible. So while important at some point when the kids got stabilized medically, hair and skin was probably not the most pressing issue to think about at that time--and even seemed to me a little superficial to be discussing from someone who had no clue. So...that was puzzling. And on and on.... But anyway, it was a little hard looking back at the pictures, but it was good for us to revisit the subject again and think of where they're at now. Despite all the negativity that's what's really important after all.
....because it's absolutely bee-you-ti-ful outside. Just gorgeous. How can you be sad on a day like today? Well, I guess you can but not as much:) And I got a great idea the yesterday evening while we were feeding the horses. We ran down to the pond to check things out and it felt really good to run like I use to. So I had an idea that maybe I'll start running in the field. Four laps would be a mile. Exercise is good for the mind and the body. And it's very peaceful over there with the horses grazing and the leaves falling.
I'll come back and post some pictures--I've got to download or upload or whatever the terminology is, but I have to eat first...I'll be back when I find a moment:)
And 5 hrs. later here they are--a longer break than I thought...not really a break..just busy doing other things--there is really no such thing as a break until Daddy comes home
today Jonah decided to ride a bike but he couldn't hoist his short legs over the seat, but riding in the mustang with his sisters worked out perfectly--actually in these pictures Livy is pushing them around the driveway; and even Peaches is enjoying the warm sun on her freshly washed white puffy fur. She's the cutest dog!
I'm a little sad tonight. Not exactly sure why--just a little sad ever since we've come back from the beach. I don't like change and things keep changing all the time it seems like. I wish I could be tougher sometimes so things don't bother me so much, but I don't think it's gonna happen at this point in my life. I guess that's a good thing in a way because it means I care--a whole lot--probably too much if that's possible.
It could be my memories, it could be people passing through my life on a regular basis and I'm taking it harder, it could be the cold weather, or a combination of everything. While we were away at the beach, a man we knew passed away. He was diagnosed with lung cancer, then had a stroke, and passed away shortly after that. Very sad. I wonder what I would do in that situation. My 42 y.o. cousin was just recently diagnosed with a brain tumor--he has 3 small children and had to give up his teaching job that he loved while he gets treatment. We use to play together as young kids and it's only been 30 short years ago; and yes, I now believe that 30 yrs is a short time having lived through it already. Lately I've been missing my grandparents. I think of them often and they've been gone for 12 yrs., but I still think about them and have dreams about them--always pleasant, nice dreams,and they're always smiling at me and happy. I remember my grandpa gave up his will to live when my grandma died. He was so sad and lonely and missed her so much. Finally, he just gave up and let go. That was hard to see and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it when someone gives up.
I miss our babies so, so much. How sweet it would be to have them here. I miss the children who are gone. I really do. I see their faces and remember. That's hard, but wonderful at the same time. Anybody who's let a child go would know what I'm talking about. I won't ever forget--not that I want to, because I'll always care and they'll always be a part of us, but it's hard for a person like me and Kenny.
I'm even sad about the time that has past and we can't get back again even though I try to live everyday to the fullest, but there are still regrets and things I would do differently, but can't. I spend everyday with my kids but it never seems like it's enough. They're growing too fast. I want them to, but then again it's hard for me as a mom to start letting them go. I wish I could be a better person, a better friend, a better mom and wife--but I guess everybody thinks that sometimes...or maybe it's just me:) I think even if we (speaking of some moms) "do it all" (whatever that is), it never seems to be enough and instead of looking at what we do right, we tend to look at what we do wrong--at least I do sometimes. I think some women are hard on themselves in that way. One thing about me making mistakes in my life is it prevents me from ever being too sure of myself and that I'm not always right and there's always much room for improvement. And it reminds to be thankful for a loving, gracious God who loves me anyway.
So I'll get over it--it's just a moment here and there of being blue. I think it helps sometimes to have things happen in your life because then you realize what you have the potential to lose. Life is a like a vapor and we all need those reminders how quickly life can change, so maybe that's what it is.
*And it was a nice, sunshiny day just so you know:) Kenny was pricing jobs here today which was nice. I finally finished up two weeks of papers and read some of my book in the warm sunshine. We fed the horses and I watches the kids while they played so it was a good day. These are just passing thoughts that occasionally crop up and sometimes I like to get it in perspective. I'm not all sad and dreary--just passing thoughts. Just thinking, learning, and "talking" about it, that's all:)
Good memories of the children from several weeks ago.
bright-eyed Livy hanging out at the lake--she's a little water girl; mischievous little Jonah trying to get out of the gate; Brandon walking on rip-rap--that dock has seen better days, but it's a pretty backdrop. What a nice summer it was!
We did some shopping this weekend for winter clothes and shoes. I have hand-me downs for all the little ones but occasionally a clothing item will need to be thrown out and re-bought. Kids are hard on the knees. Surprisingly Brandon hasn't changed shoes sizes this year. All he really needed was a jacket. Laura grew though in her shoe size so she needed a couple prs. of shoes for going out and play. The horse are getting their winter coats in already. No wonder--it feels like it out there this evening. This week though is supposed to get back up in the 70's--very nice change. We purchased an external hard drive and extra memory for the computer finally. Now I just have to find the time to figure out what to do with it (not sure when that is) and use my computer skills that I'm not sure I even have...so we'll see. I just hope I don't have to call customer service--I'd much rather figure it out myself in as little time as possible preferably.
Almost a year has passed already since I lost one of our babies. Last year when we were driving to the beach, the day before we left when I was still pregnant, I started noticing some things with the pregnancy indicating some potential problems and called the drs. office. The nurse talked to me for awhile regarding my concerns and said it could be nothing and everything could be fine and that I should just enjoy my vacation (but I think she knew something was wrong and was kindly trying to make me feel better so I would have a good time, but my intuition told me something was wrong). The morning we left, I spent the whole trip pretty much thinking I was going to lose the baby, but that didn't happen and I actually had hopes that when I got home and went to the drs. appt I had scheduled before leaving that maybe things would be ok. So about a week after we got back I went to my appt. and found out the awful, bad, terrible news. At least I was spared having a miscarriage on vacation. That was fortunate. At least we got to enjoy a few extra weeks before things took a turn for the worse...and there was always that hope that things could turn out ok even til the very end when I was lying in the ER that terrible night--there was still hope--I was begging for things to be ok, but it just wasn't.
One year ago--I can't believe it--and 6 months since we lost Zane. So sad for us and the kids, for my mom and family who wanted another grandchild and loves all of them very much, equally the same and still asks about the kids who are no longer with us. We really miss the joy we would've had. But they will never be forgotten.
It's been a lot harder adjustment coming back from vacation than I thought it would be. Down there, there was not one depressing thing to talk about or dwell on. I had no desire to think about anything sad at all while down there. I guess because we were on vacation and there was no time for that. Coming home, I wondered if that would change. And it did a little bit.. maybe because I don't have the distraction of the beach; drying wet, sandy clothes; going up and down the elevator; taking beach chairs and toys or collecting seashells or reading books or watching the kids--my thoughts are totally full on vacation with those kinds of things. Being down there freed my mind up and that's the point of a vacation I guess, so that's a good thing.
I wish it could stay like that always. I'm already looking at the pictures of the kids at the beach and feeling a little sad about it, not because we didn't have a great time because we definitely did; but because I know another year away together is over. That's hard for me; because next year if we come again everyone will be another year older and who knows what a year will bring--I don't like to think about change--I like things to stay the way they are now. There's always the threat of change around the corner that might not be so welcome or wanted. But the memories are great and that's what memories are for:)
We really needed this vacation--I didn't even know how much I needed it after this last year and the things we've been through. So it helped us to regroup and just enjoy mundane things like digging holes in the sand and moving beach toys back and forth and just sitting and talking to people for the pleasure of talking to them who don't know us and we don't know them, so therefore there's no judgment--just being nice to one another and living in the moment. It was so nice and mind-clearing. Not that I'm super-sad or anything and it's all good here with everything, just things have come back in over the last few days that had disappeared for a couple of glorious weeks.
And going from 90 sunny degrees to 45 degrees with rains and clouds could have something to do with it. The last few meals I've made were warm chicken noodle soup and chili beans--already making winter meals. We're also getting a gas fireplace put in so that'll get rid of this chill. Nothing like being warm and toasty.
More good memories of the warm weather taken about a month ago...it's definitely better than this cool, wet weather we're having.....
Livy put her dress-up outfit on and her butterfly wings and wanted to try to fly so this is her running as fast as she could through the yard:) She said she'd like to fly like a bird or butterfly. That would be fun.
Since it's very chilly and rainy today, I thought I'd put some pictures of our warm summer that just seemed like yesterday (actually these were taken only a month ago).
We're back and have been very busy getting things back in order with the unpacking, reading two week's worth of papers and mails, mowing the yard, changing summer to fall clothes. Vacation's over:) And just to think several days ago, it was 90 degrees! and we were jumping over waves in the ocean. Can we go back? I wish....but we are so glad to have Peaches back from doggie jail, and all the animals were ok. They were so happy to see us. I heard a noise on the side porch the other day and it was Gigi (our cat) clinging at the top of the screen door trying to get in. I guess she really missed us:)
I'll write more later...just checking in to say that we're back on the homefront.
This picture is the same line-up as last year at the beach (see sidebar picture). I tried to get a similar photo to show how much they've grown.
Audrey having a good time; Ben carved out a heart--so sweet!
Emily in the warm sun; kids in the hot tub--they like to get in here at the end of the day
The quality of pictures is not so great because I was up so high but you can click on to see it better.
Jonah and Laura--he had a good time putting them in his bucket
Livy's birthday the other day--she got a barbie doll and took her out swimming; Kenny taking a quiet moment to read the paper; guys digging a tunnel & Livy looking on--isn't it interesting how you would probably never dig a tunnel at home for fun, but at the beach you spend hours digging and then the water washes all that work away. For some reason it's very relaxing digging in the sand!
We went to a book signing tonight at the shopping place we visited. A local writer named Patricia Horne wrote a book with her granddaughter Madison called Best Friends Forever and a portion of the proceeds of the sale of the book supports http://www.smiletrain.org/. She signed it for Audrey and wrote, "In the cookies of life, friends are the chocolate chips" which was sweet. Audrey was just beaming and she's been carrying the book around all night. But I thought this was a good cause to support and she was a very nice lady.
We bought a couple of necklaces for .95 with some really pretty beads, and a couple pecan praline dessert things (I didn't get the name of them) that are world-famous and a pricey brownie-sized block of homemade fudge that won an award from Southern Living Magazine (that's why I decided to buy it--the guy rang it up and said, "That'll be $12.55" (for 2 pralines and one block of fudge), so I thought this better be good because that's expensive!) And it was worth every penny--in fact, Brandon went back in to purchase another praline and the person just gave him one for free--(not sure why he did that), but anyhow that was very nice of him!
There's lots of good food in the South and we're getting to taste some of it while we're here at the beach. I mentioned the Krispy Kremes--they melt in your mouth when they're right out of the oven--Sun Drop, a drink which we can only find in the Carolinas so Kenny's going to buy me some for home--we had a southern style Philly cheese sandwich last night and an authentic Italian pizza--Japanese and Chinese food tonight. There's such a variety people who work and live down here--they're from all over the world which we like. It sounds like we are eating a lot--but you wouldn't believe how many restaurants there are to choose from. You could be here a year and still not try them all. Good stuff!
pretty evening; Livy and Audrey enjoying the day; Ben and Brandon digging for shells and shark teeth
all the kids; Jonah chasing a bird; Livy, Audrey, and Emily enjoying the kiddie pool
Another nice day. We found lots of shark teeth (we have a contest to see who can find the most) and seashells. Jonah chased birds and ran back and forth across the beach over and over again--good exercise for us! Livy's birthday is today--we brought her gifts to open and will bake cookies tonight in honor of her 4th. Kenny wrote it in the sand so she could see it this morning. Her sisters and brothers made her "sandcakes" on the beach, not to eat of course, just to look at:)
hard to believe 4 yrs. ago Livy arrived--what a sweet 4 yrs. it's been; hard to see from the 16th floor and in this small picture, but it says, Happy 4th Birthday Olivia! (click on it to see it better if you'd like) 
digging in the sand; swimming in the indoor pool the other day--Audrey and Livy can jump in now which they couldn't do last year--yay girls! 
Jonah mesmerized by the waves; the condo--we're way up there--not good for people who are afraid of heights (none of us are which is a good thing)--it's a great view though! Ocean and more ocean and beautiful sunsets.
everybody except Jonah:)
It's a beautiful day here! Hot and very breezy--perfect weather. Kenny bought some floats for the kids and they've been having fun on them when they don't blow down the beach! We've played in the sand and made sand walls trying to keep the water back. It was fun to try to do it before the tide came in. I don't have beach pictures downloaded yet even though I've taken a bunch. I'll try to put them on later.
Meanwhile, here's some pictures from a couple of weeks ago from back home......(I see our Peaches in the pictures--we miss you Peaches! She would've liked the beach but she can't stay in the condo.)
We've been reading about seeds and dirt and planting things in school with the younger girls, so...
So the day started off good, but we ran into a little problem. Kenny, Brandon, and Jonah went to buy more groceries and the rest of us stayed here preparing to go to the beach. We were all ready and outside on the walkway to go to the elevator and I asked Laura to go back and get the camera. She went back to get it and I heard her say she couldn't get the key turned. I went and checked and the key was stuck in the lock. It would not come out. I left my cell phone in the room and Kenny had just left to go to the grocery store so I was outside with no way to get in with 5 kids. So I was trying to figure out what we would do. It's Sunday, so I knew the office might be closed and it was. But there was a man who worked for the condo standing there and asked if he could help me. This was a fortunate thing that they were even there because it's usually not likely that someone would be here on a Sunday. So he came up and tried to get the key out and couldn't and said he thought the cylinder was broke. He told me to wait for 15 mins and I'd have to talk to the manager and see about getting a locksmith here to get the key out which could take awhile. I used his cell phone to call Kenny and let him know since he was planning on bringing groceries back.
While I was standing there, I wondered...if we could only get through the window--wouldn't that be nice....and at that time Ben opened the window! (it was supposed to be locked but for whatever reason unbeknownst to me it wasn't). I crawled through but still couldn't get the door open from the inside because the key was stuckon the outside. Finally I moved the handle just enough for Laura to get it out. The man came back up and I told him what happened, so he tried the key again and the first time it worked, and the second time it got stuck again. So I shut the door and we went on down to the beach with the cell phone hoping Kenny's key would work when he came back. We left the window unlocked just in case--I really had no other choice unless we wanted to risk being locked out again.
A locksmith never did come since the lady said she couldn't find one to come on Sunday (maybe because they charge higher rates and they didn't want to pay it--I don't know--I would think a locksmith would be available, but anyway....He's supposed to come tomorrow to change the lock). She said they had been changing locks because of this problem for awhile so I guess instead of changing them all, they just wait until the customers get locked out. I don't know what we would've done if the window hadn't been open--I guess we'd still be standing outside because apparently no one was coming to fix it much to my surprise--or should I really be surprised?--maybe not these days. Customer service isn't that great anymore. And then I was wondering why the window was open because we didn't open it. I'm thinking that would've been easy access for someone to come in--scary thought.
But we went on down to the beach and waited for Kenny to come back with the groceries and his key worked. He sprayed some WD-40 in the lock and it seemed to help (thank goodness for a handyman husband!). Everything went well after that, but I'm still afraid my key won't work. Leave it to my key to lock us out--of course that would be the case.
The day was warm and sunny and the kids got some sun. I loaded sunscreen on but being the first day they still got a little red anyway. The waves were rough so I told the older kids not to go too far out. Jonah got in the ocean for the first time up to his ankles while Kenny held tightly onto him and loved it! He was chasing the seagulls all over the beach. He will exhaust you on the beach chasing after him, but I think he'll slow down a little bit when the newness wears off. And we found about 20 shark teeth. Tomorrow's supposed to be 87 degrees!
We made it here after an 8 hr. drive. We stopped to eat a couple of times and rest so it really only took us about 6 hrs which wasn't too bad. The kids did really well. I sometimes anticipate difficulties with small children, but it wasn't bad at all. We had to hand Jonah toys and juice and fill his snack cup up many times and pass things to the back of the van for the girls when they needed something, but all in all it went very well. We got here sort of late and we had a lot of unpacking to do. Kenny and Laura went to the grocery store and got a few things and we had time to walk on the beach a little bit even if it was a bit late and dark. The kids are looking forward to tomorrow to play with their new sand toys. I'm exhausted now because we got up early this morning but still didn't make it out at the time we wanted to leave, which we never do, so this year was no different. It's very warm here even at night which I'm liking. I heard it was raining buckets back home and a little cool, so I'm definitely going to enjoy the weather here while we can.
So tomorrow is another busy day but at least we're settled in. I have a new book picked out to read on the beach which I'm excited about, so we'll see if I get to read it. I hope! I thought I forgot Jonah's float suit and panicked a little about that because I'm relying on that for peace of mind. He's very inquisitive and daring so anything we can put on him to keep him safe helps. When I forget something I tend to panic because I know I packed it and then I wonder what happened to and can't relax until we locate it. I did forget a fresh loaf of bread that I meant to bring so it won't be any good when we return--I hate to waste good food. Oh well, I can't remember everything even with all the notes I make. We're on the 16th floor so that's a little scary, but the view is really beautiful! I'm glad we're here. It's nice to have this time together:)
Oh. my. goodness....it was a busy, busy day packing and packing and more packing--I couldn't procrastinate any longer (sigh)--there were bags everywhere--packing for me and the kids is a monumental task (Brandon did his own this year so that helped a lot); taking Peaches to the vet (we were all so sad to send Peaches to jail--just kidding...I mean the kennel:)--they'll treat her well but she's not gonna like it and we're gonna miss her so much:( Kenny had to fill the van up with gas and a couple other errands; picked up Laura's bag she left at the volunteer place; making sure we got everything checked off the list (and it was a huge list!); writing notes to people leaving instructions; watering flowers in the house; saying goodbye to the horses and the kitties and the birds; we washed all the bedding in the house so we'll have nice, fresh sheets when we get back; and getting things done in and around the house.
We went shopping last night for a few things and stopped at the pet store to get a couple of things for the birds and I saw the cutest little society finches. I'd love to have one of those--they are the cutest little bird. I need to stay out of the pet stores--we love animals and I tend to want to get one when I see it. But that's for another day.
Before departure, a few days ago we got the house painted...that's one thing we've been working on all summer--and it's done!!! (for a couple of years anyway and then it's back at it again). When we get home, the fence has to be touched up a little bit. Since it was quite rainy this year, it got a little moldy green, so it needs a little freshening-up in a few places. I want it to look nice when I look out the window. There's nothing worse than spending the whole winter looking at a drab, dirty fence. I spent the last couple of days chasing bugs that have invaded the outside of our house. Apparently the whole county is having a problem with these disgusting little creatures. I read where they came in on a cargo ship from China and now they're taking over. So I was out with my fly swatter and Windex because I didn't have any bug spray, but it seemed to work anyway.
I got the nicest comment from a writer who noticed his quote here. I love meeting such very nice people in the world! That's one of the fun parts of doing this blog.
And now we're off for some fun in the sun! Hopefully it will be nice weather. I've been checking the weather outlook and it looks very good for most of the week. After the rainy cool day we had here today it will be nice to have some sun for just a little while longer.
And I thought the sentiment on the card Kenny gave me was very appropriate for our anniversary and time together.
Someday,
Many years from now,
we'll look back on this crazy time
in our life together
and wonder how we did it all...
and then, those ordinary, everyday moments
that we often take for granted
will shimmer like stars
as we recount them...
I'll sit close beside you,
you'll take my hand in yours.
We'll look at each other and say:
"I'd do it all again...
and I wouldn't change a thing."
And he gave me a pretty necklace with 7 blue stones representing our 7 children which I love very much and a dozen red roses and a nice dinner too. Very, very nice:)
Our insurance guy just called and congratulated me that I got the Super Saver Rate on the insurance because of my good health results from the exam we had a few weeks ago. He said he didn't know how that was possible after having 7 children that I was so healthy.... so that will save us some money on that which is a good thing. Maybe I'm healthier because I've had 7 children. I've had people tell me how bad I've damaged my body by having many children and when I get older I'll start having problems (it's almost like they hope I do or something) and how I'm going to die having babies (this is not from drs. who are the only ones who would know that, but they've never said anything at all along those lines--it's from the everyday people experts--my poor husband had to hear this from someone, "You're going to kill your wife if she keeps having babies." But for right now at least, I'm healthy for the most part.
I'll have to say that c-sections are not the best for you, but I've not exercised for awhile at least in a regimented way at least 5 yrs so I may try that and see if that helps. Sit-ups and jumping rope are excellent toners so maybe I'll do that this winter when it gets all dark and cold. That might be just what I need--get back on the treadmill and start running again. I use to run/walk 3 miles after Ben was born nearly 10 yrs. ago. I had a harder time losing the weight, in fact, I gained more weight after he was born which was unusual for me. I'm not sure what happened with that. I think it might have been because he was in the ICU a month after birth and was sick for 6 months with constant respiratory issues and that was a little stressful to say the least.
So anyway, for 8 mos. I worked out at least 4 days a week and lost a lot of weight (38 lbs.). It's not so much the weight now, because like I said the other day, I'm not having as much trouble with that just because of the constant running around right now after a 21-month-old. When I'm doing something like brushing my hair or getting ready for the day, I'll hear in the background, "Mom, come get Jonah--he's getting into......" (whatever it is usually something old and breakable). So I don't have long to do much of anything. I must get things done quick no matter what it is, whether it's eating or putting on make-up or making the bed. I need to get eyes in the back of my head. That would be a good extra thing to have and I need a couple of extra arms too--that would be nice:)
When we get back from vacation, I'm not sure how many pumpkins will be left, so we went early this year, but it was a good year for pumpkins. We love the pumpkin patch!
these are our little and big pumpkins:)
smiley Jonah holding his little pumpkin; Audrey and Emily trying to pick one up to load in the stroller (we forgot the wagon when we needed it the most, so we had to use our other stroller for carrying pumpkins).
We bought a few little baby pumpkins for the girls and Audrey slept with hers one night. She carried it around like a baby.
-we're getting packed but still have a long ways to go--still procrastinating on that--i don't enjoy packing
-we visited my brother's family today--the kids played and Kenny gave them fence advice because they want to get a dog
-the kids went swimming for the last time this year at mom and dad's and we had hamburgers there and one less thing to worry about for dinner which was very nice
-i read the paper late tonight and clipped a few coupons which I'll probably never use but it's fun to cut them out and think about the money I could save if I'd only remember what product I have a coupon for.
-i bought some dollhouse furniture last night at the thrift store for Laura's dollhouse that Kenny's planning on making her and an interesting gourd that I'm trying to figure out what I can do with it.
-we went to the pumpkin patch and bought a batch of pumpkins (i'll post pictures of that when I get a chance)
-I graded school this evening--I was supposed to do it yesterday but decided to put it off until the last minute--it's done though and all's well with school.
-i looked at pet rescue places to see what animals are available. lots of cute rabbits and parakeets and kittens. just looking though.
-kenny spent a good part of the day on saturday fixing plumbing issues that needed to be tended to--he should be a plumber as much practice as he's had with it.
-i read some books trying to get them done--still reading about the FLDS and their issues like racist thinking. This apparently is not the only religious group who aren't labeled cults that has this type of thinking--racist thinking, that is. It's apparently in some of the Baptist churches we went to as well and i didn't even know it until the last couple of yrs. Our adoption bought that realization to the surface unfortunately. Thankfully not all churches (Baptist or otherwise) or all people in the church think this way (and I know it's the people thinking this--it has nothing to do with God and what He thinks about it because I'm sure it makes him very sad that some feel like this.) What shocked me most is that those leading a church feel like this. I never even thought those in the church would be against an interracial adoption. Little did I know. I've since heard stories that I would have never believe existed in modern-day America. Things have changed in some ways, but then again they've stayed the same. Very different world today, but same beliefs that won't go away.
-Kenny and I watched a movie when we had a moment, discussed politics and other important issues.
so that's our weekend in a nutshell--we did a lot more stuff but just typical things people do like buy groceries and eating at McDonald's, etc. It was a nice weekend jam-packed with a variety of things going on as usual which is a good thing.
-sorry for the grammar errors--i didn't feel like taking time with that tonight--it's late and i'm tired:)
This is one of my favorite flowers of all time. I think it's beautiful, especially the purple ones. We save the seeds every year for next spring. They are coming up everywhere which I'm glad of. I want the whole yard to have wildflowers everywhere. We love flowers! Livy, Emily, Audrey, and Laura were having a fun time finding seeds.
Jonah loves to get in the plants and find stuff. I have all kinds of things tucked by in my plant areas like pots and rabbit figurines or birdhouses--just stuff that I find that I think is cute. And he goes in after them when he spots something. So this is what he's doing here--trying to get something that he's found. I love the lemon balm--it smells very good. When I would have morning sickness I would break one of the leaves and the lemon scent would make me feel better for a little bit. Now it's coming up everywhere. There's even some way over in the horse field.
Recently, I happened to come across an article that talked about disruption and the parents on the other side who disrupted, so it got me to thinking about things again. Basically, it was someone taking up for the parents who let the kids go and what they were going through. A lot of the focus when there is a disruption is not at all positive toward the disrupting family. But the point I wanted to make is this: we were not taking the easy way out for those who might think that. We've spent the last year and a half dealing with the aftermath of the children leaving and I can attest to the fact that it is not easy. Occasionally when I look at the room addition we added on in Brandon's room or the memories of them running through the house and playing on the swings, I remember and I can't help but stop and think about things. So we have the memories always--not always easy--it's like that bittersweet feeling that hurts a little bit when you think about it, but at the same time you don't want to forget--like seeing a baby all grown up and knowing you can't go back and do it again, but you're happy who they've become; or the child has left the nest and you have to walk by their room everyday and all you have are the memories while they have moved on, not needing you as much, even though you still need them but knowing you have to let them go--something like that.
It's interesting, I remember Kenny telling a missionary to Liberia nearly 20 yrs. ago--he has since passed away--that we wanted 10 children (this missionary had 10 of his own). This was before we had any kids, but I remember Kenny smiling and speaking up in front of his family that this was his dream--people sort of laughed it off and I really didn't think it would ever happen--that's a big undertaking. But we did have 10 children after all--even though it was only for a short while; I like to think we made a difference and I certainly don't want people to think we took the easy way out, because that's just not true. In fact, easy is not the word I would even associate with the things we've been through over the last several years.
It was mentioned that families go through depression as they try to move on. Whether it's depression or sadness or dark days or whatever you want to call it, I can say that this is very true--not as much anymore like it was at the beginning or 6 mos. ago, because it does get better. (Not that we don't think things are for the best and everything worked out well for them--that's not the point I'm trying to make. In fact, that's one of the very things that has kept us uplifted and encouraged throughout this whole time--seeing them where they are--it really makes us happy for all of them, and that's the beauty of this whole thing of how God worked in this from beginning to end.) There have been few days since that we haven't thought about the past few years. Time does heal things, but never in the way that it was before. And some people want us to move on and never talk about them as if they never existed. I almost never mention the subject anymore when I talk to people--not that anyone much is asking--I've learned to keep quiet at risk of being cut off mid-conversation or ignored. It is a conversation that only our family has unless someone specifically asks, I do not bring it up--unless I talk about it here which seems to be a good place for me. Not because I don't want to because I love to talk about how the kids are doing, and it would please me to know that someone truly cared and wanted to know. But I no longer have any interest in making someone else listen (as if I could anyway:) It's not exactly how I want to spend a conversation with someone where I get silenced and I've never really figured out why--well, I do get some of it, but I'm still perplexed from a Christian standpoint--I'll never understand that part. Anyhow, our memories of when the kids were here and how they're doing now are special to us, and I don't want to give others who disagreed with it the right to gloat or snub us and the children that way ever again. I'm not hurt by it anymore, just tired of trying.
I was just wanting to say that no it's not easy for the other family--in fact, it's probably one of the hardest decisions we've ever had to make. I remember the social worker we worked with encouraged counseling for me especially because she thought I'd need it. I never did get it because I don't know if it works and I don't have too much trust in talking to people I don't think care about me--although talking to someone who just listens is always a good thing so maybe it does work. Kenny and I have talked it out together a whole lot so I considered that my counseling and I can trust him and he's a great listener! And who else would understand any better than the one who was right there with me the whole time. So anyway...that's what I was thinking about today and writing about it helps get my point across. It seems like this is one of the few places I can do this where I can say what I feel in my teeny-tiny corner of the universe where I can just talk about how I feel without someone disregarding me. This has been an unexpected format to help me deal with things.
I took the girls on a walk through the path this evening. This is one my favorite places on the property and the girls love to have races. I put candle holders out so we'll be able to see our way when it starts getting darker. I thought it'd be fun to walk on the path with candlelight. And in the house I like soft lamp light. It makes it much more cozy--I don't like bright, overhead lights and keep them off if at all possible--but we have lots of lamps. I think we're going to have to get propane to help warm the house this winter. The front rooms are so open that the heat doesn't stay well in the front rooms, so we either crank the heat up which skyrockets the bill or get propane. I think it'll be pretty with the glow of the flame in the background and it'll be nice and toasty. Now we just have to pick out a fireplace insert and get someone to put it in.
I love birdhouses and like to see little birds work hard to make their homes all neat and tidy-- Kenny made this one; Gigi loves them too but for other reasons like catching the bird--bad kitty! (Notice Kenny's attempt to keep her out by putting the tomato stake thing around it. Thankfully no birds moved in here anyway.)
I'm reading another book about the FLDS. This one is better than the last one so I'm getting through it faster. I ordered three more books off of Amazon for the beach trip so hopefully I'll get them before we go. I love reading books on the beach listening to the ocean noises with the warm sun shining down. Hopefully, it'll be warm and no rain. I've been watching the weather and it's in the low 80's--high 70's so it sounds great. We'll have to start packing soon which I'm not looking forward to--the whole trailer will be packed with all the stuff we need. I can't believe not too many years ago with five kids, we traveled in the minivan with all of our stuff packed in. I don't know how we did it. That's only been 2 kids ago--our 12 pass. van is busting at the seams now with practically nothing in it. This weekend we're going to try to get the last of the painting done. When we come back, who knows how the weather will have changed. So we've got lots to do!
cool baby Jonah--he likes sunglasses; kids playing on the slide--they only go up the wrong way as long as they're doing it right--if they start getting rough they have to stop. However, Jonah at the bottom doesn't quite understand the rough part yet.
A nice lady the other day referred to him as "a cute little slugger"--she got that right because he will slug you even though he's just playing usually with a happy grin on his face. We are teaching him to not be so rough, but at the same time let him do what little boys like to do. Brandon and Ben were much quieter when they were little. I don't remember them being quite as inquisitive and destructive as he can sometimes be. He's definitely all boy and quite a little wrestler!
Kenny's birthday; last week at the lake
We had a busy day yesterday. Kenny and the kids washed the big van in preparation for our vacation coming up. It's gonna get dirty again with crumbs from Jonah and toys scattered throughout before we go, but at least it got a thorough vacuuming and window washing. Kenny had the oil changed the other day. We need to get new tires--another added expense that we weren't thinking about, but it's worth the money because we definitely want to be safe on a long road trip. The kids are really looking forward to this trip. I'm a little concerned about leaving the animals. Peaches will be boarded, and the rest of the animals will be taken care of here by someone. Even though they'll be well taken care of, I tend to worry about them anyway.
We had neighbor dogs come to visit. They show up about once every 3 months and visit for a little while. We give them water and a treat since we don't see them that much. They've been around as long as we've lived here and it's nice to see them stop by. The kids love them to pieces. And Jessica stopped by to give Laura a whole bunch of nice scrapbooking materials. Thanks Jessica--we appreciate it!
friendly doggies; pretty $1 plate--I love bargains that are pretty at the same time!
Someone is helping themselves to our newspaper every once in awhile. Will the thievery never end here? The carrier said she'd put a theft latch on to help out with that since she knows she put one in the box the night before. I'm not sure how that'll work. If this is the same person who destroyed our mailbox (not saying it is, but I almost hope it is because if not that means we have 2 bad people in the area--Or I could look on the bright side and maybe a gust of wind blew it out of the box or aliens took it:))--(no, I don't believe in aliens just to put that out there)...but if it is a person, which is the more likely scenario, I would think they would have no problem tearing if off if they felt like it, so a theft latch probably won't help in that case. I have to wonder how this person was raised. Maybe they weren't taught that it's not ok to steal other people's property, or maybe they were taught and didn't listen to the parent's rules. Would it be worth it to install a security camera--it'd be interesting to find out who it is. It's a little disconcerting to think that it could be one of our neighbors or visitors to the neighborhood, possibly who drives by our house everyday, or maybe it's a passer-by who pulls off the main road because they see an easy target. Who knows? but I'd like to find out just for curiosity sake. We do have two police detectives in our neighborhood so maybe they can help us out with this (they have bigger fish to fry though and no time for the petty thieves which is understandable). Not the biggest problem in life, but it's annoying because we work hard for what we've got and I don't like people taking advantage of that by stealing or destroying. Not nice!
On another subject, sometimes people say or do things to hurt feelings. Maybe intentionally or maybe not. I have to remember that people will let me down and maybe even sometimes don't even know they're doing it, or maybe they do know and are trying to hurt my feelings, because sometimes people like to do that. But I guess it doesn't really matter anyway. I don't want to get caught up in that thinking because there's nothing good that comes out of it. I just end up feeling bad and if someone is trying to hurt my feelings, I wouldn't want them to think they've succeeded and if they're not I'm wasting my time thinking about it. But I wonder if being too nice makes a person vulnerable sometimes, sort of being treated like a door mat, where someone treats you bad because they think you'll always take it. It's nice to be nice, because it's the right thing to do, but not to the point of being treated bad. I've found that if you tell somebody that something bothers you; one of two things happens, they will get defensive and deny it or they will apologize saying they had no idea they did that, but they care about you enough that they want you to feel better. But sometimes you just have to forget about it and move on and try to quit setting myself up by giving more than I'm ever going to get, when nothing I do is going to make a difference anyway with some people. And on the other hand, sometimes I might say or do things that might hurt someone's feelings without even knowing I'm doing it. I like for people to tell me if something's bothering them, and even if there's a misunderstanding, I like to get things out in the open and clear the air and move on from there. It makes life so much happier and easier to move forward. I think too much time is wasted holding grudges and life's way too short for that. I'm just rambling here which I tend to do sometimes.
So what else....Kenny and I went out for dinner and shopping at the antique store. I bought some pretty plates for $1 a piece. I'm not sure what I'll use them for--maybe for a mosaic project or maybe I'll use them to sit under flowerpots for now and probably give them to the girls one day for their house. We went to a couple other stores and found Kenny a light jacket for the beach in case it get a little chilly at night. I even found a couple of Christmas presents. This year is going to be really light on the presents, but I'm glad I found a few things that the kids would like. Mom stayed with the kids and fed them dinner and gave them ice cream and the little ones baths which we appreciated. So we had a nice evening!
Happy Birthday Kenny/Dad!! Laura spent the last few weeks making her dad a man's apron from scratch--no patterns! It turned out really well! And there's other nice gifts coming too (Ben bought him a Dodge Challenger--the miniature version will have to do this time:) and a Ronald Reagon Dvd, nice cards, some t-shirts, and a cake or brownies or cookies--we haven't decided yet. Tomorrow we're going out on a date for a birthday dinner and some shopping. We haven't done that for awhile so that'll be nice! Much Love! xoxoxoxoxo
Jonah playing; Livy is a little upset that Jonah is in the play tower--he doesn't ever mind if he's pestering her though--in fact, I think he enjoys it like most little boys do:)
It would be nearing Zane's due date--it was supposed to be around your Dad's birthday. I was looking at your picture today in your little hat and trying to think about how would have looked if you would've been born today. We wish you would be coming home with us soon. I wish I could grab you back and hold you in my arms. But I do know that you are safe and ok and we know we'll see you again one day. We love you forever and you'll always be in our memories! Life is not the same without you.
Love, All of Us xoxoxoxo
Audrey and Livy running fast on a beautiful summer evening; some of the kids sitting on the fence gate
Some of our books when they first arrived; Jonah's only interest in school is trying to carry the box of books around:)
I've been trying to redo this blog for some time now. I want to change the name and I have several new template places that I want to try out. The URL address just doesn't make sense any more and I know that, but I just haven't gotten around to it. When I start messing with stuff it can create a disaster and I'm the type of person that has to fix something until it works out or I don't relax very well. So I don't want to start something I'm not ready to finish. So if anybody was wondering why I still have the name eightwaiting, I know that it doesn't make sense any more but I don't think anyone even notices. Someone even told me when I was worried about keeping the blog last year something along the lines of who really cares anyway? I get that my blog/life to them is not the most important thing, but I enjoy it and I like it to look pretty and make sense since it represents us. But I wonder...do I really have time for making a bunch of changes right now? and the answer is pretty much "no". So I'll get to it sooner or later, or maybe never....
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What else do I procrastinate about? painting my vanity in the bathroom (it's antique but either needs to be restained or painted so I choose the easier route--painting, but I still don't want to do it) or the gate in the hall ( a cute little gate Kenny made to keep Jonah from roaming freely through the house because he can get lost down the hall in the back rooms); packing for the beach (my least favorite thing is packing for anything); going through the attic boxes to get rid of some stuff (I need at least a full uninterrupted day to do this so that's nearly impossible at this juncture--isn't that right Jonah?:))); printing out my many pictures on my overloaded upstairs computer--I need to do this and was planning on getting it done over the summer and only partly succeeded (I keep getting warning signs that I'm running out of space so I keep deleting worthless files and games the kids don't even know exist and neither did I--or I can buy extra memory which would solve the problem but again I can't seem to get motivated to purchase this because for some reason I think I'm going to have trouble with it--anything with technologically advanced equipment tends to make me think that way--and it's expensive). So I'm procrastinating a little bit, but I'll never have it all done anyway because there'll always be something to take it's place even when this other stuff gets checked off the list. But that's just the way it is, I suppose.
We went out last night and did some shopping with all of us. I think we went to 7 places. I don't know why we try to cram so much in, but we do. We went to Michael's and bought some scrapbook paper for Laura to use. Kenny's going to make her a dollhouse and she's going to use the papers to do the wallpaper and floors. And we're going to make our own furniture. I can't wait to help her with this! I went into Once Upon A Child just seeing if they had anything neat but only had 15 mins. to look before they closed so we whizzed through and didn't find anything. Then we went to Marshalls and looked around for a little bit for any good clearance items.
After that we went to the grocery store and as usual bought more than what I went in for, but I still forgot some of the stuff we needed like grape jelly, but mom and day bought us some today so that helped a lot. We went to 3 different places for food--supreme pizza for Kenny at Pizza Hut, fries and cheeseburgers from McDonalds because we all like them better, and whopper Jrs. and chicken tenders from BK because the chicken is cheaper there and their cheeseburgers are $1.29 and I think McDonald's is less than $1. I know it's junk food city, but we don't do it often so we'll be ok. During the week we mostly are vegetarians because we don't buy much meat--we're mostly rice and vegetables or grilled cheese and soup or stir fry with vegetables.
We had a nice visit from Mom and Dad today. They bought us all kinds of nice stuff to eat and other things. We took a walk down to the horse field and on the path. I bought some candle holders last night--some pretty blue Italian blown glass that were clearanced for $2. I want to put candles in them and light the path so we can walk on it at night since the weather is cooling down. I love this time of year right before the leaves get ready to change and it's not too hot or too cold--it's just right:)
I was reading a Dear Annie column last night in the paper about a sis-in-law who was concerned about her 11 y.o. niece being homeschooled and she didn't seem to be up to par with what other 11 y.o.'s were doing. She said her sister and brother had master's degrees but it bothered her that they were using a child-led approach to learning (it sounds like they were "unschoolers"). The girl apparently was very bright but it still bothered the sis-in-law and she was wondering if she should say anything. I was so happy for once that the answer from Dear Annie was a positive remark about homeschoolers and basically she said to leave them alone to teach their daughter how they wanted to and there was nothing wrong with child-led learning (sort of like montessori schools that people spend a whole lot of money for:). Usually, media mention of homeschooling talks about the negatives of it. What a breath of fresh air where someone's trying to get permission to attack homeschoolers and someone else actually takes up for them, especially in the liberal news. Yay!
So anyway, we'll probably go to the lake a little later down to the marina. I'll bet it's pretty today because the temperature is so nice and there's that fall touch in the air. I love being around the lake when it's like this. The kids went swimming Friday evening. I can't believe it's almost time for dad to close the pool. It's been a fun summer!
the girls love to bring their coloring books on the porch when I'm watering flowers; notice Audrey's smile leaves when Jonah comes around because she knows he'll try to take the crayons:)
Peaches and Livy (see the little feet under the picnic bench--that's Jonah sitting on the flower pot:)
We had our physicals yesterday with the insurance nurse. She took blood and moved the needle in the process which hurt pretty bad. She apologized but nevertheless, I think with that happening and a lack of food, I felt a little sick and had to lie down for a little bit. That hasn't happened to me for quite awhile. I used to pass out all the time when I had blood drawn but since I've had it done so much I guess I had gotten used to it. But I still hate i.v.'s...., but that's another story... Anyway, the med. check was more involved than I thought, but I'm glad we got it over with.. I hope everything turns out alright and we can move ahead with that.
The article was mentioning about not being able to connect with people in our technology age. I notice in the stores now that people don't look at each other anymore and they're sort of in their own world. Our kids have never texted before which seems to be so popular these days, not that it would be that hard to do; but nevertheless the kids don't do it and couldn't anyway becaue they don't have cell phones. If they need one, we let them borrow ours. I noticed a young girl probably around 12 texting someone the whole time she was standing with her mom in the line at the store and they never said a word. She was transfixed on what she was doing and didn't seem to be interested in anything around her except what she was focused on. Brandon has an IPod which he enjoys listening to and I don't have a problem with that because I like for him to be able to listen to music, but not all the time. I don't want him not ever hearing what's going on in the house. The kids play computer games some and when I notice that their focus is too deep into a game (these are just the kid-friendly ones--violence is not allowed at all), they have to get up and do something else.
I've reminded them that the warm days won't be around long and they need to get out and enjoy the nice weather. We'll have plenty of time to be cooped up inside this winter. And to get off the games and the videos and trade it for a bike ride or walk on the path or play ball or find something to do in the horse field or something. Last night, they did a lap around the field on their bikes--exercise is good for them and we encourage it as much as possible. Ben and Brandon and Laura are outside today playing in the woods and the little ones played on the swingset and with moon sand. I love being outside this time of year especially with the weather we've been having.
So it a little weird these days trying to have old-fashioned conversation with people and writing letters and such. Sometimes it feels like some have forgotten how to do that if it's not on email or social network groups and when someone actually says something to me when I'm out, I'm almost surprised. I think people are getting into their own little worlds sometimes which is not a good thing. It's nice to talk to people and connect like we used to.
Kenny and I have to fast today from 11 a.m. until 5 pm for an insurance requirement. A nurse is coming by to do a medical exam for blood work and all the fun stuff. So all I've had is a bowl of a cereal and some of a waffle. I'm so hungry now, so I can't wait 'til we get this over with! I was fixing the kid's lunches and it looked so good, but I couldn't have any just yet. Poor me:) Just kidding, it could be worse.
All of our schools books arrived today at once. There were 4 boxes full of books and $700 later, we're set for the school year. I ordered extra fun stuff for the kids like and an origami book for Laura and "All About Me" where she can write about her life, her interests, etc.; a Dale Carnegie book for Brandon "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and so on. Brandon and Laura are avid readers so I try to keep them busy with that. I don't know what I'd do without books. I love them! I could never get one of those Kindle readers. It's just not the same and I hope they never do away with the newspaper. There's something about having the actual book or paper in your hand. We've got so many books, we could start our own library. Then Ben is going to do a lot of art work this year in addition to his regular curriculum. He's got a knack for drawing and has an eye for detail so I know he'll enjoy doing that. Emily, Audrey, and Livy played school today and made me some pictures. Laura's been teaching Emily to write cursive letters at night for fun.
We joined the HSLDA for peace of mind. I enjoy the updates we receive about what's going on in the homeschool arena and it's nice to have them backing us up with so much opposition from the anti-homeschool crowd. We still get a shot on occasion--I don't guess that'll ever end. One person said our kids needed to be "up at the school" (referring to the local elementary school). I guess they want us to do it because that's how they do it...someone was asking me the other day if our kids had to take the SOL's which seems to be a common question and... "when do your kids start school.....do they like their teacher (laughing as if it's a funny joke that they would actually like me as their teacher) and do they call me Mrs. (our last name)....why do you want your kids to be with you all day...I couldn't stand for my kids to be with me all day...I can't wait 'til they go back to school...my kids wouldn't want to be with me all day...are you smart enough to teach algebra?--what do you do when you don't know the answer (accompanied by a sarcastic grin:)...how are they going to learn how to act with other people.....it's not fair you get to go the beach when everyone else is at school".....blah, blah, blah, blah...it's always something.
In spite of the insults:) we're excited to start back and get things going again!
Right before going to the dr. She wanted to wear a pretty dress and put a ballerina necklace on too. The second picture shows her beloved blanket that she's loved on and carried for a long time. It's in tatters and all beat up, but she loves it and I love it because it reminds me of her. Hi, Peaches, who likes to get her picture taken too:) That's the checkerboard floor that Kenny worked for 9 hrs.!! on to get it finished. Those squares make it harder to stay in the lines. It turned out well though! Thanks for your hard work and getting sore knees to get this floor done!
Audrey did fine at the dr's office yesterday. They said she was tiny which is not surprising for a preemie, but she's sharp as a tack and healthy as a horse. The dr. said she had the healthiest heart he had heard all day! Thanks be to God!!! It was all worth it--the difficult pregnancy, the too long hospitalization that nearly broke me, and the days where we didn't think we could keep on going but somehow God gave us the strength--(I'm not kidding either--that was hard stuff.)
She was so proud that she got her shots and didn't cry. The nurse said she had never seen a child who could take the last shot which usually hurts pretty bad without crying. Audrey said she wanted to be brave. What a sweetie! But I told her before she went that it was ok to cry if it hurt. The dr. said he couldn't believe she didn't have any long-term effects from being born so soon which is further proof that God had his hand on her. She nearly died in the hospital. To go from there to here is what I had hoped for but never really knew. Thank you for the precious gift of our daughter and for her health!
And to all those roll-of-the-eyes, I-told-you-so's, and scoldings when things were so hard and we were so sad (oh how i could've used hugs and understanding instead:), let's remember that God is in control, not man. Sometimes, we need to stop trying to figure everything out and blaming others and leave it up to the One who is in control to let him decide. Not getting cocky here, because I know undesirable things can happen, but I'm just happy that people got to see the sweet child that came out of the hard times of the past in spite of the judgment towards us at times. We are blessed, blessed, blessed to have her.
Peaches likes to walk through the bushes in the yard and Jonah tries to follow her, although he can't fit the same way she can, but he would if he could:) Peaches comes out with leaves all over her. It's funny--she walks really slow when she's going through as if she's going to get attacked by something. We think either a cat scared her or a turtle we've seen who hangs out underneath the porch did or maybe she got stung by a bee--but anyway she walks really slow like she's waiting for something to jump out at her. Jonah loves his dog! And notice he always has something to eat in his hand--his favorites are Ritz crackers, pudding, yogurt, and chocolate candy. (You can click on the 4th picture to see Livy in the background.)
Kenny and the kids visited a new church today. They liked it ok and the people were very nice and welcoming--all the kids except Audrey went to the different classes according to age (Jonah and Livy stayed with me), which was new and different for the kids. We still like our other church very much, but Kenny's been wanting to check this one out, so that's what they did. They'll probably end up going back to the church we've been going to because it seems to fit us better as a family overall for the time being.
Kenny started painting the back porch and our original delay was the paint was too dark. Well, we went out last night and bought some more paint and that was too light, so we mixed some of the dark in and that helped a little but it's still not quite what I was hoping for. So we moved all the furniture out for the second time in two days, trying to get this thing wrapped up. But I think it'll still look pretty. I'll take a picture when it's done.
We went out last night and stopped by the airport. The lights are so pretty at night. Kenny reminisced about his flying days when security wasn't so tight. We used to just walk right up to the fence and watch the planes take off. Not anymore--it's all different and changed now. You can't have fun anymore, at least at the airport. We went to Lowe's and picked out some tiles that I want to put in the building when we get a chance to get that started. I think it's going to be cute. If nothing else, it'll be a nice place to hang out for the kids.
I clipped some coupons out of the newspaper tonight once again. I'm not sure why I waste my time because either I forget I have them or they expire before I get the chance to use it. I use to use coupons all the time before we had kids, but it's hard to keep up with it now. Just getting a grocery list written is an accomplishment. Adding coupons is just another chore that I really don't have time for right now, but I still cut them out just in case I remember them when I'm at the store. Saving a little money is always a good thing even if I only do it 1 out of 10 or 20 grocery trips, but I guess it's better than nothing.
A nice man gave Brandon some old coins so I suggested Brandon send him a thank you note. I like sending out notes when someone does something nice. I think it's a dying practice, at least that's what I've heard. It shouldn't be, because there's nothing nicer than getting a note in the mail. A lady we know made us some brownies and cute little chocolate bundt cakes and it was the perfect opportunity for me to use the photo software I have to create a thank you note/picture. I enjoy doing stuff like this when I have the opportunity. It's fun and makes someone else feel good for their hard work or their thoughtfulness at the same time, which is always a good thing!
Audrey has a drs. appt tomorrow for routine stuff. She's brave about it even though she knows she has to get some shots. I think that catches up everybody for awhile on dentist and dr. appts. I do have to schedule Laura in the winter for an orthodontic exam just to see what he says. We may be looking at surgery but I hope not...
We rode by the old place where I used to work the other day. It's a beautiful victorian mansion in the city near where we live. I can remember being a young girl going starting out there right before we got married. I was so proud to get that job and it was only slightly above minimum wage at the time. I think I made $4.07/hr. starting out, but for me that was good money! Other people might think I was crazy for thinking that, even based on 20 yrs. ago wages, but I truly did appreciate it because I had earned it all on my own.
I can't believe it's coming up on 15 yrs. since I quit my job! I don't really miss it much, except for a few things. When I was starting out I really liked my job, but by the end of 5 yrs. I had really gotten burnt out, not only on the repetitive typing that medical transcriptionist must do and do very quickly to keep up with the many drs. I worked for, but also because I didn't really enjoy working around the office gossip and drama that seemed to occur on a regular basis when working with some other women. No offense to women, because not everybody's like that (and men can do this too), but this can get out of hand sometimes.
I miss most of the drs. I worked for, especially one who was blind. I always admired him for his success and the road he had to travel to get there. He was the nicest man. I used to type out his notes in braille and read over prescriptions with him for his patients. That was one of the favorite parts of my job because I felt so important working with someone who was world renowned in the medical field. And there was one psychologist who was from the Phillipines. He was the kindest person who I looked forward to seeing--he didn't fit with the loud crowd either because he sort of stayed to himself just trying to do his job. For some reason, if you didn't get involved in everybody's life, taking sides in disagreements and that kind of juvenile stuff--you didn't fit in well. There were a lot of temporary clerical workers who came in and never did stay long. I remember a woman who came to work there who I liked very much, but the other women gave her such a hard time. She had a 7 mo. old baby and he was the joy of her life. We used to talk about him a lot. Our office manager ended up firing her because she supposedly didn't fit in. She came to me crying that day and gave me a note which said that she appreciated me being so nice to her when no one else was. I still have that note somewhere because it meant a lot to me. Over the years they tried to give me a hard time too on occasion, but I didn't give in just to fit in with them the way they wanted me to, like going out after work or going to the lake parties on the weekends. Nothing wrong with socializing, but forcing you to do what they do or you're not part of the club is not what I'm interested in. I'm not sure how I lasted as long as I did other than the fact that I did my job well and it would have been hard to find someone who sat and typed nearly 8 hrs a day. I don't think the pressure to fit in ever ends no matter how old you get whether it's at a job, in a family, in a neighborhood, or even in internet circles. I always thought when you got out of high school, that would be over, but I was wrong about that.
However, I look back and appreciate the time that I had there because it taught me a lot, but I have to say I'm much happier staying home with the kids. This job is the most important one I'll ever do, and there's not quite as much drama here as in the workplace. But it's still amazing to me that it's been 15 yrs. In another 15 yrs. all my kids will be grown almost! That's just hard to believe and why I'm enjoying every moment I can with them.
We went out to the mall last night with Mom and Brandon, Laura, and Ben, and had a really nice time. We didn't get out until late so we didn't have long to look. My mom and I are such fast shoppers that we zoom through the aisles until we zone in on something good and skip the rest. However, we could stay in there for hours looking around if we had more time. There were lots of good clearance sales and Brandon got a bathing suit. They had their concrete statues clearanced so we bought a cute frog and cat curled up.
Then when we were leaving, we decided to go to Dunkin Donuts so as usual I almost passed it because it's sort of hidden behind some trees. But I made the turn in time and pulled in a parking lot, waiting while they went in and picked out donuts. There were some men sitting outside talking about a car that was going the wrong way and how they couldn't believe it. Anyway, when my mom and the kids were coming out with the donuts, the man asked her if she saw that car going the wrong direction and she said no. He said, "You mean you didn't see those headlights coming at you because it almost hit your car?" But none of us saw it. I've always wondered how people get hit with cars going the wrong way. I've imagined (wrongly) that you could avoid someone coming at you, but that's not the case, because we didn't even see this person and they could have wrecked us and none of us would have known what hit us. That's one of those split second things where you narrowly miss having an accident. We've had a lot of near misses in our life, it seems. But all is well, thank the Lord, and we had nice time with my mom tonight and got to see Dad too:)
Today we painted the back porch. We were going to redo the checkerboard square but the paint we have was flat (which would show dirt too much) and the gray color was too dark, so we'll have to get some more to get it right. But Kenny and Brandon took the time to paint the walls and finish that up. We're trying to get this stuff done before the colder weather sets in. We almost need a caretaker of this place. It keeps us older ones very busy, but who can afford a caretaker and cleaning service and a chef......It would be nice to have an Alice like on Brady Bunch. But we are the caretakers and cleaning people and chefs or waiters and waitresses for the time being, but it keeps us honest and busy. If Idle hands can get you into trouble, we should never get into trouble then:)
dress-up; having a "spa" evening with the girls; stepping stones the girls made this summer
I am not sure what is up--I guess because the summer is dwindling down, but I've been tackling projects like crazy. Today we cleaned the sun room and two other rooms from top to bottom. We dusted everything, cleaned the floors, cleaned out shelves, vacuumed and then at 9 p.m. I got the paint out and painted the microwave stand, another cabinet in the pantry and some of the baseboards. I want everything fresh and clean before cold weather gets here. I'm trying to make it as cheery as possible because it's not my favorite time of the year. Fall I like, but I know what's after it and it's a long 4 months for me.
I love face creams and trying different make-ups so I have a lot of stuff I never use. I have practically every hair barette and accessory you could possibly want, I think. I pretty much have my own store of stuff, but I buy it because it's such a good price and I never know when one of us will need something so I get it in case I need it someday. The girls and I have a lot of fun with it though. I have a parafin wax warmer that I've only used a few times but it's nice to have. Someday I might use it again if I have the 8 hrs.!! it takes to warm the wax up to soften my hands but it's so worth it when it's ready to go. I love those spa things you can buy--I also have a foot bath that bubbles up and some other ready-made bath spa machine that makes the bubbles. So when cold weather hits, it's fun to do these kinds of things since I never have the chance in the summer. I guess there are some good things about cold weather--keeping warm under a blanket, coming in earlier since it gets dark early or not going out at all, watching the leaves change--so I guess there's a few good things about it. I don't really care about snow at all though. It's pretty but after a couple of days of it I'm done--so it's a good thing we live far enough south that we don't get too much if any at all.
I'm glad we have a free weekend 'cause there's a few things we need to get done. I've read a lot of books this summer, at least 15 or so. I'm glad I had the chance to read a lot. I have to have at least 2 books going at once so I can switch back and forth. I still have a couple I just can't seem to get through. One is about a FLDS family and it's fairly good, but it's slow and long. I think I started it last winter and still am only half-way through, but I'm determined to finish it...maybe I will.
I have always believed the greatest gift I've ever been given is my children. I don't know how I survived without them for the first part of my life. They've made me feel worthy and loved and needed. I never feel judgment from my children and they love me for who I am no matter if I think I'm not good enough, strong enough, smart enough...they never care about that. They just love me because I'm me and that's something I usually don't get from most people. With others, I'll never do things right and they'll point out my weaknesses instead of my strengths and judge me in so many ways.
In our children's eyes, I'm pretty even when I think I'm not and they'll tell me with great enthusiasm how they like my outfit or my hair even if I'm grumbling about it; I'm the smartest mom ever even if I'm not even close by a million miles; I can cook well and even if they don't like it they're polite anyway and taste it and say how good it is; to them I can make nice things and they never notice my mistakes even though that's all I see sometimes; and they forgive me even when I'm wrong; they lift me up when I need it and give me a hug just because they want to; they like to sit beside me and just be with me for no reason other than I'm their mom and tell me they love me and really mean it; and when I don't think I'm good enough (I guess it's the devil whispering in my ear:) I am so greatful that my kids always convince me that this is just not true--that I am needed and I am loved. What more could I ask for?
I am blessed beyond belief and more than I have ever deserved.
Our children and my supportive, kind-hearted husband are the greatest gifts God has given me. I'm thankful every day of my life for them. Nothing will ever replace this short season of time for us as a family when we're all happily together and living, learning, and growing together. I never knew nearly 15 yrs. ago the joy that God was bringing to us when we brought our firstborn son home and the kids who would follow--a whole lot of work and tears sometimes, but it's funny--I never think of that when I look at the big picture. I don't remember the late nights and the irritating moments of the day when I think of my kids in peaceful moments when I'm all alone. I have a feeling of love bursting at the seams and at the same time fear that things will change like my children will leave home one day or someone will get hurt or sick. So in those quiet moments (like now) it's like I try to hold on and do everything I can to drink it in because it goes by so quickly and I don't want anything to change from the way it is now. I think of Brandon leaving maybe in a few short years and that's just hard to swallow. He's growing way too fast!
It's a love beyond anything I ever could have imagined and to think at one time we thought in our youthful foolish ideas that we wouldn't have any children at all--I can't believe that crossed our minds back then. Of course, it was never up to me how many children we would have because we've cried many tears over our very much hoped-for angel babies, and had children leave us too; but even through that God showed us how wonderful the gift of children is (because loss can remind you of that lest you forget); how blessed we truly are with the whole bunch of them and I wouldn't change it for the world!
They're all gathered on the couch right now while Kenny reads to them (except for Jonah whose in bed:) and I'm just listening to them chatter about going to the beach in a few weeks and what they're going to take and where we're going to eat on the road trip and it's music to my ears. These are happy days!
A mom and her daughter stopped by the house the other day wanting to use a phone book because the daughter's car broke down. They stayed for awhile looking for a towing service in the phone book and the mom told me her daughter was headed to Harvard in a couple of weeks. I remember a couple of years ago this being in the paper and reading about it. She was valedictorian of her class and I believe got a full scholarship there. I told her how proud she must be of our daughter and she was just beaming with pride. She said she was the only of her children who went to college. So I enjoyed talking to her. I can relate to being proud of your children. That's most every mother's focus I think and we want to see them succeed whether they go to a prestigious university, somewhere in between, or just get an ordinary job but are happy, good people.
On the school front here, I have ordered all of the books. That's a big job to get everything picked out--hours and hours invested in going through catalogs trying to decide what's best for the children and what would be a waste of money. So for those who think we're just sitting over here doing nothing, not the case at all:) I'm doing mostly Abeka, CLP, and the only thing I got hung up was Brandon's curriculum. It's all based on whether he decides to go to a university or not and that was the deciding factor of what we're looking at for the next 4 yrs. It would make me a proud mom to see him graduate from our state christian university (there's a couple in other states that are good but we would have to consider the costs). Not only would I be proud of him for accomplishing such an enormous task but then people couldn't say I (we) wasn't capable enough to teach our kids or get them into a university. Brandon and the rest of the kids would be the one proving their talents, but at least me and Kenny hopefully will be able to help him get there if that's what they decide (by the grace of God for sure). And I'd also be just as proud if he decided to work with his dad or whatever it is they choose, as long as they're happy with what they're doing.
No matter what we do, there will always be some who'll never consider what we're doing to be anything productive. We'll never get the same respect from some because we do things differently. Others will always be doing it right and we'll always be looked at as not doing it right. I was a little down yesterday about that but as usual Kenny reinforced the idea that it's not going to be easy, that is, following your heart and doing what we think is best in spite of what others think.
I use to try to tell others about what the kids were doing (hey, I'm their mom and I'm proud of them just like other moms who send their kids to public school are with "real" teachers and all that:) and I'd get the rolled-eye look. Not all the time, we've had people who've really encouraged us too, so that's a good thing. I love the people placed in our lives to give us a bit of encouragement along the way. Statisically speaking, the ones who don't more than outweight the ones who do. But I've always said you only need a few people to give you that little bit of push that keeps you going.
So I'm glad we're getting things lined up. I'm excited for another year and to watch the kids learn and grow! It's a joyful thing as a parent to see that and to be a part of it with them. I'm just glad I got the books ordered. They should be here just in time to start in a couple of weeks. I can't believe how expensive it was this year. Definitely not an inexpensive route to take, but much cheaper than private school.
I can't believe it's only a month until fall. The kids have been enjoying swimming while they can. This summer is passing way too fast--it seems like summer just started!
Emily's been reading books this summer practicing her reading. She brought me a few that she'd read the other night and was so happy, as she should be. She has a little notebook that I've encouraged all the kids to have to record all the books they've read so they can look back one day and see what they've accomplished. I love it when the kids learn to read because that's when they really start to grasp things.
Audrey can't wait to start so she's next on the list. One of my concerns when Audrey was born at 27 wks. was we didn't know what after effects she might have, but there really haven't been any. They could've been severe like speech, learning areas, walking, eating--there was even talk of putting a feeding tube in before she left the hospital, but we persisted and made sure we worked with her counting every ounce of formula for the first couple months of her life and she began to thrive, by the grace of God. In fact, she's more advanced at a younger age than I thought she would be. She's very smart. What a testimony to God's ability to handle something when so many said it wasn't going to happen. According to them, she's not even supposed to be here, so that's why I don't listen to all the negatives everyone tries to make you believe. Sometimes things don't turn out well, that's very true; but sometimes it's just the opposite and you get to witness a miracle unfolding like we did with Audrey.
I remember some people being so mad at us when I got pregnant with her. She was our 6th pregnancy after a 2nd trimester miscarriage. They thought I should stop at that point after learning my lesson with a traumatic miscarriage. It was a hard time, I remember that, but looking back it was so worth it even with everything that happened. That's what it's like to mostly be on your own in a trial knowing that most people are against you, with only the faith and trusting in God to get you through and a few encouraging people to back you up. I know some of it was probably concern, but some wasn't. God was the only one who should've scolded me in the way others try to do. It was definitely a faith-building time in our lives I think preparing us for things that were about to come that I had no clue about back then. Anyway, we are so thankful for our precious daughter in spite of the hard road to get here and for the wisdom of the drs. and nurses at the NICU.
Let's see what else....another Saturday already here! I can't believe how fast the weeks go by. It's raining again and today we're supposed to go to a birthday party for my nephew that has some outside activities go-carts and putt-putt, but I guess we won't be able to do that now unless it stops in a few hours. The party is right in the middle of Jonah's nap so I doubt we'll be able to stay long anyway because he could get grouchy an hour or so into it. Maybe not though. Last week when we went to Appomattox, he did very well and sat in the stroller the whole time without complaining at all, probably because the stroller is almost like a moving bed and very comfortable for him, even though he never did take a nap.
We watched a family movie last night. It's one of the few movies that can make me cry. At the end, I have to get up and walk away because I don't like anyone seeing that. But I love this movie, I could watch it over and over again. So I guess we'll get busy and start straightening the house up, putting clothes away, etc. before we have to head out. Kenny has to weed eat and I think it's stopped raining--it's going to be a messy job, but it's got to be done--makes no difference about the weather conditions.
My mother-in-law got a new puppy. She brought it by tonight to show the kids and he was so cute! He looks like a mix between a shih-tzu and a pekingnese. So of course, the kids loved him and now we're looking at puppies for sale. Who knows...maybe for Christmas? But I'm not sure about that because the puppy training is a long, hard road. It took us about a year to get Peaches trained but now she's a perfect dog for us. So could we do that for another six months or more? I guess it all depends on how the next few months pan out. Only a small dog though--no bigs dogs--been there done that. Good dogs for someone but not for small children--we learned the hard way not to buy a dog that although very cute when little, ended up being 65 pounds at 4 months and still had a whole lot of growing to do and with 5 small children at the time. But he's in a good home now and we learned a valuable lesson--only small dogs who don't shed and aren't the size of a small pony the way Willie was going to be.
Anyway, a little brown or black dog would be nice as long as it's fairly small and fuzzy. The kids would love it. Secretly I would too! Maybe that's what we need.... Peaches may have a buddy or maybe not--let me think on that....
**I added an addendum to the end to hopefully make more sense of what I'm trying to say....
I wonder what it would be like now if we were about to have our baby. In about three weeks I would be preparing to go to the hospital. I'd be nervous about that, but excited at the same time because of what would come out of it. We'd be getting all the baby clothes out again wondering what he would look like. When Jonah was born we all guessed weights and how tall he would be. It was fun doing that. Kenny and I talked about it last night and he assured me that this happened for a reason, a good one, although we still can't figure out what it is. Audrey, Livy, and Emily said they wished I was having another baby because Jonah was getting so big and they wanted a tiny baby again they could help take care of. It's a lot more fun for them to have a baby they can put a blanket on or bring bottles to or rock in his chair, than Jonah at present taking their crayons or drag their dolls by the hair:) They remember how nice it was with a newborn. I know how they feel about that because a baby is so sweet no matter how many you've had.
Even at their young ages they know how special a baby is. I agree. Nobody will ever convince me that that I'm wrong about that or downplay the importance of the babies we lost or even how many kids we've had. Anyway, I asked them if they remembered who Zane was and they said they did. Then we started talking about how little Audrey was when she was a baby and what a miracle it was that she was here with us. Even the drs. said they didn't think she would survive the pregnancy to viability and then when she made it, they were all surprised--really we all were. But God gave us a precious gift in spite of the odds against her.
Almost every pregnancy I've ever had it seems like sometimes others tried to take the joy away from us like they were more mad than happy that we were having another baby. I don't know why because we were always so happy about it, but it seems to be the common thought that 2 or 3 children are enough so when you go against that, just like anything else, you get a hard time about being different. And then when we've had problems they remind us of why you shouldn't have so many. It seems to justify their thoughts when something goes wrong. And I've heard why you can't be happy with the ones you've got? That's the whole thing, I'm so happy with them that another child makes life even better:) I don't think there's anything wrong with that. And I know some people don't like to hear about it just like the adoption, but that's ok, it's just me talking. I know it's nicer to when there are happy outcomes. But it's not always that way unfortunately. I still wouldn't change the last year for anything, because I still believe things happen the way they're supposed to whether we like it or not and that's the way it is. But we are still extremely blessed so I wouldn't want anyone to feel sorry for us, that's not the *point at all:)
**ADDENDUM: I forgot to state what the *point was.... and that is...I'm just missing our babies and probably always will until I don't have to anymore. Some things effect a person like nothing else does and this is one of those things. Zane and our other babies who I didn't get to name had a family who loved them, and I'm just sorry they didn't get to be with us. I don't understand the bigger picture, but thankfully one day I will. It's not a pity party, because what we've been through is nothing compared to what others go through. I'm just trying to make sense of my own life and how to deal with it, that's all:) It's just one of those days.
We had a nice outing over the weekend. We went to Appomattox Historic area which has a lot of Civil War History and artifacts and historic buildings. It was a very hot day but we really enjoyed it! And my grandmother was born here and left home at 14 at around 1923. She was one of 7 children too which is interesting since we have 7 (my other grandma was also one of 7 children).
We're winding down on our summer projects. Brandon painted the house some yesterday. He only had one side of the house left and the new addition we added a couple of years ago needs touching up. The next time we paint, maybe we'll darken it up a little bit--a darker shade of gray, but that's a few years down the road. Kenny wants to drywall the building and put in a nicer wood or tile floor in to make it more useable for us. So that'll be a fun project. Our insurance is giving us trouble again. They're doing the same thing they did when the kids were here last year, trying not to pay on covered services. For 14 yrs. we've had no problems and then all of a sudden they want to start denying immunizations that they've always paid, which they sent us a reminder for in the first place. It's always something to keep you on the phone trying to straighten things out. You would think the amount of money the business (Kenny & his bros.) is paying out for insurance premiums we wouldn't keep having these problems, but we do. What would we do without things to straighten out? that will always be something to look forward to I guess.
We're also doing the will thing. I guess we've put it off because it's one of those things most people don't want to have to deal with. And then finding someone who would abide by your wishes on how you would want your children raised is a tricky process. Our lawyer advised making sure that person would definitely be a Christian so that narrows it down too. So anyway, what to do.. i have no idea but I guess we'll figure it out. I'm hoping that that won't be something we ever have to deal with.
I cleaned the upstairs out today actually over the last several days, I've been finding lots of stuff for removal. There's definitely more peace with less clutter. So if I want peace, I have to get rid of it to a more manageable level. I like having things but sometimes I wish I could just start all over again and be a minimalist decorator. Most of the time with toys the pieces get lost, broken, or become a dangerous object for Jonah to put in his mouth, so it's more trouble than it's worth, not to mention the money spent. Last night, they were playing with the cat and dragging a string around the house so she would chase it which is a simple, but fun thing to do. So simple is definitely better. One thing I wouldn't part with is my collection of vintage children's books and old games which are always great. However, I really need to put some of my books that I've already read and videos that we don't really need on Amazon or half.com, but what's holding me back is time to do it. There's just not enough of that right now....
so pretty--a heart leaf; pretty flower--I think it might be a zinnia, but not sure about that. This is from some of seeds we planted in the spring.
I turned my back for a second this morning and Jonah pulled my marigold out of the pot. He had dirt all over himself. All this happened in a couple of seconds. My poor flower. I put it back in the pot because it still had the root on it so maybe it'll survive. He also got back into my violet in the back room. I come in and he has dirt all over his hands and the floor and little pieces of purple flower were spread about. He's really interested in flowers:)
We got the little pool out today and the kids went swimming a little bit. Brandon mowed and weed-eated the property and it looks very nice. We went out this evening with Mom and bought some new jeans for Brandon and Laura and clearance summer clothes for some of the kids. There were some good prices on those--I love looking through the clearance racks. We had a nice dinner at our favorite buffet restaurant. Laura bought some fabric for her dad's birthday present coming up soon. I won't tell what it is in case Kenny reads this:) So we had a nice evening out with Mom which we always do.
I'm starting to get prepared to start school. Brandon will be in 9th, Laura the 6th grade, Ben the 4th grade, and Emily the 2nd grade, and our newest little student, Audrey will be starting kindergarten.
I'm trying to decide whether to do the regular Abeka curriculum for Brandon or do an online program. I have to figure out what would work better since this year since he's in the 9th grade. He has some interest in college so the online may be a better route. There's so many things he could do, he's just got to decide which route to take, so that's what the next couple of years will be spent thinking about. Thank goodness there are homeschool-friendly colleges. People always ask about that. I think they're worried that they won't be able to get in because they didn't go to traditional schools. But that's a myth. There are some definite benefits to homeschooling all the way around. People are so caught up in the social thing. It's almost over-the-top stressing out over that issue. Our vacation is coming up soon at the end of Sept when school is back in. It's a good time to go because it's cheaper, less crowded, and the weather is not so stifling hot. We more than make up for it because I don't take as much vacation time as the public schools give. We work through spring break and take less time at the holidays so it's all averaged in. They always complete their school year. But there will always be people who don't give our kids the same credit for the kind of school we do no matter what we do. Some people don't even consider it as legitimate. But if people would just relax with the whole thing maybe they'd see that it's a good option, not better, just different but trying to reach the same goal.
I think maybe the issue is how is it fair that your kids get to stay home all day and avoid what their kids have to do? Someone asked me that point blank when we first started yrs. ago. I think he put it like, "Is he (Brandon) just going to play all day and watch t.v.--stand at the door and wave as the school bus goes by while my kid has to attend." (What would be the point of that?) And then it was, "How is that legal?" "How do you get away with that?" I just say have to shake my head on that one. It's shouldn't be a competition of egos and whose more capable. I'm not into that at all with what other's are doing. A little girl was telling one of the kids she wished she was homeschooled. Apparently she's having trouble fitting in. A boy told me a long time ago that he was being picked on in school and said he wished he was homeschooled. His mom said, "You're not being picked on" to which he replied, " Yes, I am Mom--they call me names." She didn't want to believe him and he was assuring that it was true, but she didn't want to buy it. I always feel bad for those who don't fit in with whatever it is you have to fit into. It's not fun and it certainly can't be good for someone's self-confidence. I've had people try to convince me that they need to go through that so they learn how to deal with it. I just don't think that's the answer though in my opinion.
So anyway, now we have to get the school books bought and this year since Brandon is in 9th grade, the prices have skyrocketed. But I'm able to use the teacher's manuals again for the younger kids even though they switch the answers around and it takes me longer to follow it, but I do it anyway to save the $30 to $40. This is our 10th year, I can hardly believe it's been that long...
Jonah loves his tractor (actually it's originally Brandon's from when he was a baby and it has survived 13 yrs. of children); Livy likes to ride it too though and he doesn't like that so he's trying to get it back, although unsucessfully.
big wheeling (Jonah had new shoes so was very proud of them); biking on Nana and Bobo's driveway; and Jonah poured powder all over himself:)
These are the cutest bracelets. I ordered one for Laura and one for myself. They're beautifully made and I love stuff like this. I'm always amazed at what people can make. This is some of my collection of stuff--I love victorian cats and porcelain dolls, anything with bluebirds on it or of course flowers. And I like the sound of German clocks and the little dancers that come out. Laura spends a lot of time in here reading books and it's really nice to hang out here when it rains listening to it hit the roof. Some of my favorite things are old quilts and dolls, and just basically anything antique that's interesting. I like the history of old things.
Today was a good day. I went to lunch with old friends and by old I mean we've know each other since we were 4 or 5. None of us are old at least not to me:) So that was nice to get back together again and catch up on things, even though we don't see each other much. It doesn't matter how many years pass, it's like we step right back in the groove of things. And there were some funny pictures to look at of us when we were in jr. high. I can't believe our hairstyles (mullets, Farrah hair) and clothes (ties and handkerchiefs as an accessory). I can't believe we dressed like that. So it was a nice time!
Then I had to do grocery shopping. I almost went on home because it was so hot and I really didn't want to do it, but since I was right there at the store, I decided to go ahead and tackle it. I had a whole buggy full and the lines moved slowly and were long. I don't like grocery shopping very much. It's not very relaxing for me but it has to be done. Anyway, after a long wait and packing the van up by myself which is a good workout because some of the bags were heavy (I sured missed the older kid's help), I took the long drive home. Then when I pulled up I was greeted to a chorus of the kids saying hi to me. It's nice to have someone excited to see you when you come home. Now it's time for a late dinner, baths, etc...
What should I write about tonight? Well, we had Emily's birthday which was a success! She had brownies instead of cake for a change. Before that, we went out for a drive and bought some creme-filled donuts and pizza--a very junk food-filled evening. She liked her gifts--Laura made Emily's doll a necklace and bracelet, and she really enjoyed the bag we made. She used it to put all of her gifts in so it's a good, useful gift.
Today, we straightened up the upstairs and stored boxes away in the attic. Jonah found an old broken phone somewhere, we can't figure out where, so that made his day--he sure does love the phone! Forget about the toys, just give him a phone and he's happy. Kenny spent awhile on the phone getting bills straightened out. We were overcharged $50 for a service and shouldn't have been. I wonder how many people don't even notice when they're overcharged even if it's an accident. But anyway, it's fixed so that's a good thing.
It's nice to have someone to depend on. And thankfully I have my husband to do that. He takes care of things. Like the car, for instance, if something's wrong with it, he looks at what he thinks it is and finds a way to get it fixed. I'm not good with car maintenance. All these years and I still don't know how to change a flat tire--I know some women do, but I'm not one of them; Kenny puts the gas in the car even though I could do it, but he likes to do it for me. It's good to have that because I'm not the type of person to ask for help. Only if I really have to. I guess in some ways that's a good thing because I can never bother anyone if I don't ask for anything. But Kenny helps with things without me even asking. That's one of the wonderful benefits of being married to someone you can trust and depend on. I really appreciate that.
We have a new project we're working on. Since we're almost done with everything else, we decided to start another one. I don't think we can not be doing a project. We've been doing it for a long time, so why stop now? Anyway, I can't wait to see how that turns out.
We had a semi-busy day. We had some visitors stop by, then I took Laura and Brandon to the dentist (no cavities--good!) and we ran errands while we were there. My cell phone wouldn't work and the car sounded a little funny, so I was afraid we'd break down and I wouldn't be able to contact anyone. I can't remember what it was like before we had cell phones--I feel much safer with one. But we got home fine and apparently I forgot how to turn the phone on because Kenny somehow got it to work:) Maybe I was pushing the green button instead of the red button or something, but it would not come on for me.
The kids should have good memories of the lake. We enjoy it so much we went back this last weekend.
I had a strange dream last night. I was at the hospital to have a baby and I looked down and I didn't appear to be big enough to be having one. The dr. came in prepared to deliver and the nurse had the sonogram machine ready. I felt my flat stomach and started to panic. I was looking at my chart and there was no recent date that I had been seen for an appt.--the last date was 2007. In the dream I was worried that the drs. were preparing for me to have a baby and there wasn't one. The nurse said maybe the baby was just small and she squeezed my hand and smiled and said "Let's take a look." And I started to cry. Then the dream ended and I woke up. You know how when you cry in your dream and wake up and tears are really rolling down your face, well that was sort of that kind of dream. I would be 5 wks. away from having our baby so maybe that's why I'm dreaming about this. A little strange just like dreams usually are, but understandable, I guess considering it's only been not quite 4 months ago. I hope I can get peace over this eventually.
Laura inflating rocket balloons; Emily choosing her favorite color; the screeching balloon is released. This was a lot of fun for the kids. It scared our dog though--she ran inside when she heard the screeching noise it made.
Our peaches are ready to be picked. Not as big as last year, but still very good. So now we have to go pick them. I'm not really sure if I want to freeze them this year--we still have several bags from last year that we haven't eaten yet because we froze so many. I guess I could make some peach jam--maybe I'll do that. That should be pretty easy to do. We'll see. I'm thinking, do I really have time for that right now...It's probably easier just to eat what we can and give the rest away.
We rec'd an email yesterday with detailed information and photos of a child needing a home. As usually the case, very sad circumstances, but at least this child has hope for finding a family and is in a good, safe place now. And that got me back to thinking about all the children who need a family and will never get one. And seeing the face of this sweet child put me back into a place where we've been before--looking at each other and wondering... And of course, I can't get the picture out of my mind. I think this will always effect me, that is, children who need a family. Even watching the shows about child-sponsorships in third-world countries upsets me to the point that I have to turn the channel or either I'm in tears for the entire show.
I remember when Audrey was in the hospital 5 yrs. ago, and I was talking to the pediatric nurse who was in charge of her care, making arrangements to transition her home. It was at the end of the long 4-month hospitalization and we were exhausted and sad and wanted her with us. It's hard to imagine as a mom being separated from your baby for that long. I can tell you it is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I wonder sometimes if people know how fortunate they are to bring a healthy baby home. Until you've experienced loss or separation from your baby, maybe it's hard to appreciate that. Anyway, we had been waiting so long and wanted our child in our home. We loved her, missed her terribly, and visited her several times a week. She had a mom and dad who were fighting for her and trying to bring her home. I told the nurse that it broke my heart to see all the babies in the NICU who were so small and attached to oxygen, g-tubes, their eyes covered, some who were left there--no moms or dads to come see them, and then some would never go home. Then I got to thinking about all of the kids around the world who were suffering and she told me that we couldn't give them all a family. I told her I knew that, but it still broke my heart. This was way before we even thought about adopting. I never knew at that point the journey we would be taking soon after that. And even now, another child's face and another sad story. It's really heartbreaking.
Before: from a few weeks ago with lots of curls; and after: the new little man holding his curls that I just cut off over the weekend:)
All the kids; playing in the lake; Emily with some unidentifable object--I have no idea what it is because there was nothing in the water or air at the time. It looks like an image of a dove or something. Click on it and take a look.
